Getting Trampled by Metaphorical Horses
Getting Trampled by Metaphorical Horses
(and Other Ways Burnout Shows Up)
I had a meltdown this weekend which is not typical of me – but sometimes the four horses of the burnout apocalypse show up and you need to deal with them. Let me explain.
Things have been excitingly busy at work, causing old patterns and expectations (of myself) to emerge without me realizing it. The energetic cost of all this was me freaking out on Saturday… about the house cleaning. I know that house cleaning is not “do or die”. Our house can forgo a cleaning without things being unsanitary or falling into complete anarchy. But it was on my list of things to do, and I wanted to get it done.
That’s a lie. I didn’t want to do house work all, but I felt it had to be done and skipping it wasn’t an option my self-esteem was willing to consider without feeling like a complete failure. You see, I’d lost control of the “work bus” all week, getting not one critical thing done off my “To Do” list because other more critical things pushed them back. This made me feeling like I’d just run a marathon but hadn’t left the start line. It’s a feeling a lot of professionals are having these days (you’re not alone if you’re feeling this too).
Cleaning the house was something I could get off my list and my self-esteem needed a win. So, I doubled down on my expectations of myself, forcing it to get done whether I felt like I had the energy to do it or not. To be clear, my family all help with the house work so I wasn’t doing it alone. But just like in many other households, if I had said it could wait a week no one was going to argue and it wouldn’t have gotten done. So, I had a meltdown instead (which makes perfect sense – not). No family members were hurt during the melt down, I was being kind to them (if not myself). But it did put a damper on the week-end for me. Hello burnout my old friend, when did you get in?
There are four horses that herald the burnout apocalypse.
- Exhaustion (emotional & physical)
- Not giving an ‘eff
- Brain fog
- Emotionally reactivity
When two of them showed up I knew it was time to take notice before the other two joined them and completely derailed my well-being. The horses always show up at home before they do at work for the simple reason that family will forgive in ways a boss and team mates can’t. Home also gets hit before work because a surprising number of burnout sufferers are like me, they LOVE their work, which makes it hard to catch how work is become punishing. Doing this before burnout has you in its sights and you’re flipping out about solvable things (like house work and feeling empowered) is a thrive move that can step you out of burnouts’ path.
If you’re like me and find yourself getting sucked back into unhelpful behaviour patterns, do not give yourself a shame-bath. Burnout can be sneaky, it sometimes hides in helpful behaviour patterns like being of service, having integrity and getting really excited about the work you do. And you may have no idea what’s happening until you hit a wall (or have a meltdown). Catching it before it gets out of control is key, and when you catch it, take a moment to celebrate that you can see it before figuring out what has to drop to keep the burnout apocalypse horses from running you into the ground. In my case, I made myself a celebratory latte, sipping it slowly and giving myself time to think. That time was precious as it allowed me to create a quick worksheet to use when things get hectic, so I can ditch the attachment I have to getting ALL the things done. Now I have a way to focus just on the things that really matter (no surprise that house work isn’t one of them :-).
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Love,
Carleen